Does Prayer Really Work When God Doesn’t Seem to Answer?

Maybe you have been praying for the same thing for a long time. It might be a job, a relationship, a healing, or someone you love coming back to God. You have prayed about it for hours, maybe for years, and nothing seems to change.

So you start to wonder, "Does prayer really work? Is God even listening?" And a thought creeps in: "God, if You were good, You would have given me what I prayed for. If You were real, You would have heard me."

Here is the honest answer. Yes, prayer works, and God answers, but not like a vending machine. He answers like a Father: sometimes yes, sometimes no, and sometimes wait.

I preached a message on how to pray when life is pressing in on you, from the prayer Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane.

God is a Father, not a vending machine.

All of us have used vending machines before. You put in your money, press the right buttons, grab your snack, and walk away.

Sometimes we treat God the same way. We ask Him for what we want, and when we get it, we walk away. When all your prayers are about what you want from God, you have started treating Him like a vending machine. Our prayers often reveal our priorities.

God does not want to deal with you transactionally, but relationally. You were created for a personal relationship with God, and prayer is how you talk to Him and listen to Him.

If you feel like you don't pray enough, you are not alone. I have never heard anyone say, "I pray way too much!" I don't pray as much as I would like to either. But prayer is not a professional act. It is a personal act. You don't need to know everything about the Bible or have your life all together. Prayer is simply a conversation with your Father.

And yes, you can ask Him for things, because He cares about every detail of your life. Jesus put it this way:

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11, NIV)

God answers prayer with yes, no, or wait.

Now, a good parent does not give their kids everything they ask for. A little kid asks, "Dad, can I eat a Lego?" No. "Can I run and dance in the middle of the street?" No. Some of the things kids ask for would hurt them.

It is the same with our Heavenly Father. We say, "Lord, I need this." But God knows your heart better than you do. He knows your future and everyone involved. So He answers with a wisdom only He has. Sometimes He answers yes. Sometimes He answers no. And sometimes He answers wait.

We love it when God says yes. When He says wait, it is frustrating, because we want it now. When He says no, it can be really hard. But when God says yes, He says yes because He loves you. And when He says no, He says no because He loves you.

Sometimes God even says no to good things. Paul planned to visit the church in Rome on his way to Spain, and he asked them to pray for his trip (Romans 15:23-32). But the Bible never records Paul making it to Spain. Was there anything wrong with wanting to share Jesus in Spain? Not at all. It was a good plan. It just was not God's plan.

Paul did get to Rome, but he arrived as a prisoner (Acts 28:16). Even in chains, he could write, "Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel" (Philippians 1:12, NIV).

So a no is not proof that God has stopped listening. If your unanswered prayer is tied to a deep loss, you may also want to read why God allows suffering if He is good and loving.

Some prayers God always answers with yes.

When God says no to one prayer, it is tempting to forget all the times He has said yes. Don't let one no erase them.

And some prayers God will always answer with a yes. Whenever you ask God to save you and forgive you, He will say yes. Whenever you ask Him to strengthen you through His Holy Spirit to do His will, He will say yes.

A desperate father once asked Jesus to heal his son. He told Jesus he believed, and in the same breath he asked Jesus to help him overcome his unbelief (Mark 9:24). Do you think asking God to increase your faith is a prayer He would like to answer with a yes? I think so!

When it doesn't go according to plan, pray like Jesus did.

The night before the cross, Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane. His soul was "overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mark 14:34, NIV). He knew what was coming: the betrayal, the nails, and the weight of all our sin. But He did not run from His Father. He prayed.

Under pressure, we often do the opposite. We distract ourselves, or we dwell on the problem until bitterness pulls us away from God. But when you are hurting is when you need God the most.

When David was in distress, he cried out to God for help. Later he wrote, "From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears" (Psalm 18:6, NIV). God hears you because He loves you. That doesn't mean He will always change your situation, though He can. But even when your situation stays the same, being heard by God changes you. It reminds you that you are not alone. For help praying honestly, read how Psalm 13 teaches us to lament, ask, and trust God's love.

Notice what Jesus actually prayed:

"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36, NIV)

In the same sentence, Jesus is both asking and surrendering. He tells His Father exactly what He wants, and then He puts it back in His Father's hands. That cup stood for God's judgment on sin. Jesus asked for it to pass from Him. Hours later, He drank it on the cross, so that you and I don't have to.

So ask God for what is on your heart, and then say, "Not what I will, but what you will." The secret to that kind of surrender is knowing that God loves you and has a much better plan for you than you could ever come up with yourself. You won't always understand His purposes. Your job is to trust Him.

Trust God and stay faithful where your feet are.

It is easy to think you are trusting God when everything is going your way. But sometimes you are just trusting your circumstances. The true test of faith comes when life does not go the way you wanted.

The Bible says, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9, NIV). Sometimes your plan lines up with God's plan. Other times, God takes your steps in a different direction. His plan does not always mean you will be healthier, wealthier, or more comfortable. But it will always lead you closer to Him.

So stop wishing things were different, and start being faithful where your feet are. Paul could have thrown a pity party in prison. Instead, he stayed faithful, and God used him there.

Think about it like this. When you build a house, you submit your plans to the city. The city can approve them, deny them, or ask for changes. In the same way, submit your plans to God. Your plans will sometimes fail, but His plans for you never fail. "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations" (Psalm 33:11, NIV).

Today, you can bring God your honest request and trust Him with His answer, whether it is yes, no, or wait.

Daily Practice: Pray about the one thing that weighs on you most. Ask God for exactly what you want, then pray the words of Jesus, "Not what I will, but what you will." Before you finish, write down a few times God has already said yes to you, and thank Him for each one.

If there is a prayer that feels unanswered right now, send us your prayer request. We would be honored to pray with you.