Nervous About Going Back to Church After Years Away?

Maybe it has been years since you sat in a church service. Maybe life got busy, and Sunday mornings slowly filled up with other things. Maybe churches closed their doors during COVID, and you never went back. Or maybe someone at a church hurt you, and staying away felt safer.

Now something in you wants to go back, but you are nervous. What if it is awkward? What if you have to walk in alone?

If that is you, I want you to know that you are not the only one. When COVID shut churches down, a lot of people stopped going, and many of them never came back. Others took years to return. The good news is that the door is still open, and God still wants you with His people.

If you want a feel for a Sunday before you walk back in, watch this Easter message. It is for anyone who is new, and for anyone who has not been to church in a while.

You were created for community, not for a spiritual island

Too many people think they can live the Christian life on a spiritual island with just Jesus and themselves. That could not be further from the truth! You were created for community by Christ.

The church is not a building, and it is not just a service you attend. The church is a family of people who follow Jesus together, which is why the first Christians called one another brothers and sisters. There are not supposed to be any solo Christians.

Think about it like this. A snow leopard is strong and beautiful, and it spends most of its life alone. It does not seem to need anyone. A lot of us would like to be snow leopard Christians who stay independent and do our own thing. However, the Bible does not call us snow leopards. It calls us sheep.

Being called a sheep is not the most flattering thing, I know. But sheep have two things a snow leopard does not. They have a shepherd, and they have each other. Sheep stay together because one sheep cannot fight off a predator on its own. In the same way, you need the Good Shepherd, and you need His people around you. You will grow more in your faith, and you will be safer spiritually, when you are connected to God's people.

Real community takes more than a seat on Sunday. If you want to see what it looks like week to week, read about why you were never meant to follow Jesus alone.

There is no perfect church, but there are healthy ones

Maybe you were hurt by a church in the past, so it is easier for you to trust Christ than to trust His church. Or the church people you knew seemed better known for what they were against than for what they were for, which is a wrong picture of Christianity. If that is your story, I understand, and I am sorry. I have been deeply hurt by fellow church members and leaders too.

However, I do not use my hurts as an excuse to disconnect from the community Christ designed me to be part of. Do not let the hurt from your past keep you from the relationships God wants to give you through a church today. If your church hurt runs deep, please talk it through with a pastor you trust instead of carrying it alone.

Christ is the only one who is perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect church. There are healthy churches, but there is not a single perfect church in existence. So do not hold out for a perfect church, but look for a healthy one.

What does a healthy church look like? It is Christ-centered and Bible-believing, so it keeps pointing you to Jesus and teaching God's word. It is also a place where you can belong and not just attend, where people get to know you and care for you. The very first church looked like this: "They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer" (Acts 2:42, NIV).

Going back to church will not save you, but it will help you grow

I want to be clear about something: going to church does not make you a Christian. You can be in church and not be in Christ. The Bible says, "it is by grace you have been saved, through faith" (Ephesians 2:8, NIV). You are saved by trusting Jesus, who died for your sins and rose again. You are not saved by filling a seat on Sunday.

That also means you do not have to clean up your life before you come back. You don't need a mask, and you don't need to pretend. You can come to Jesus as you really are, and you will find His arms wide open. A committed follower of Jesus is not a perfect follower.

Now, once you trust Jesus, you need a church family so you can keep growing in your faith. God has always wanted His people to keep gathering. The book of Hebrews was written to Christians in the first century, and some of them had stopped meeting with other believers. Here is what they were told:

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another" (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV).

Notice the words "as some are in the habit of doing." Drifting away from church is not a new problem, because some Christians were already in that habit nearly two thousand years ago. Notice, too, what God wants for you when you gather with His people. He wants you to be spurred on toward love, and He wants you to be encouraged. To spur someone on simply means to urge them forward.

There will be times when life beats you down, and you will not be able to lift yourself up. In those moments, you will need someone to speak and show the love of God to you. That is what a church family is for.

It is okay to walk in by yourself

For some of you, the hardest part is walking through the doors alone. But feeling alone is not a reason to stay away. If you feel alone, there is no reason why you must stay alone.

You do not need to have it all figured out before Sunday. At Arroyo, our church in Livermore, it does not matter whether you have been going to church for years or it has been a long time. We are just glad when you walk in, and we love you right where you are.

Once you find a church, do not stop at Sunday. It is possible to attend a church and never really belong to it. So don't just come in and leave. Get into a smaller group that meets during the week to pray, talk about God's word, and do life together. At Arroyo we call that a connect group, and wherever you land, look for a group like that.

Today, you can take one step toward a healthy church instead of waiting for a perfect one. Here is your step: choose one Christ-centered, Bible-believing church near you, and go this Sunday. We are better together, so do not live life alone.