Maybe you are around people all day, and you still feel alone. Maybe you come home to a quiet house, and nobody asks how your day went. Or maybe you have friends, but not one of them really knows what you are going through.
Feeling lonely makes everything else heavier. In fact, you are most likely to worry when you feel alone. And late at night, the same question keeps coming back: "Why do I feel so alone?"
If that is you, there are two things I want you to hold on to. You are not the only one who feels this way, and God is closer than you feel.
I preached a message from John 15 about making God's love the home your heart lives in. You can watch it here.
Loneliness will tell you that you are the only one.
Elijah was one of the boldest prophets in the Bible. God had just answered his prayer with fire from heaven (1 Kings 18:38). But when Queen Jezebel threatened to kill him, here is what happened:
"Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness." (1 Kings 19:3-4, NIV)
Notice what Elijah did. He left the one person who was by his side and went off alone.
Not all loneliness is something you choose. Sometimes it just shows up. But when we are hurting, many of us do what Elijah did. Rather than struggling with other people, we struggle in silence. And isolation always leads to desolation.
Later, God asked him a question: "What are you doing here, Elijah?" (1 Kings 19:9, NIV). Elijah answered, "I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too" (1 Kings 19:10, NIV).
Was Elijah really the only one left? No. God told him that He still had seven thousand people in Israel who had never bowed down to the false god Baal (1 Kings 19:18). Loneliness told Elijah something that was not true.
Maybe you have believed the same thing. "I am the only one going through this. Nobody knows how I feel, so nobody can help me." I am not trying to make light of what you are going through. Loneliness is real, and it hurts. But you are not alone! Other people have walked through what you are walking through. The devil would love for you to believe that you are alone. Don't believe it.
God is with you in the places you feel most alone.
God did not leave Elijah by himself. He told him to go out and stand in His presence. Then this happened:
"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." (1 Kings 19:11-12, NIV)
Elijah had seen God work in big, loud ways. God can shout, but this time He came to Elijah in a gentle whisper. And He had been speaking to Elijah the whole time.
In the Old Testament, a man named Joseph was thrown into prison for something he did not do. If anyone had a reason to feel forgotten, it was Joseph. But the Bible tells us that "while Joseph was there in the prison, the Lord was with him" (Genesis 39:20-21, NIV).
God did not wait until Joseph got out of prison to be with him. Some of you feel alone in your pain right now, and it feels like God has abandoned you. He has not! He is with you in your pain, just like He was with Joseph. He promises that He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
Now, God's presence won't always change your situation. Joseph stayed in that prison for years. But God's presence will change how you go through it. If God Himself feels far away right now, read what to do when you feel far from God.
How can you be sure God will not leave you? Look to the cross. As Jesus hung there, He cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46, NIV). He was forsaken in that moment because He was standing in your place for your sins. Jesus went through the worst suffering so that you could have His presence in your suffering. When you place your faith in Him, you can never lose His presence.
Your heart was made to live in God's love.
Jesus said this to His followers:
"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love." (John 15:9, ESV)
There is no way to measure the Father's love for the Son, and Jesus says He loves you the same way. Then He says, "Abide in my love." An abode is a home. It is not a place you pass through from time to time. It is where you live. Jesus wants His love to be the home your heart lives in. In other words, live loved.
I think one reason you might feel so lonely is that your heart was made to be filled with God's love. People matter, and you need them. But no person can give you what only God can give you. That is not a scolding. It is an invitation.
Maybe you have been single for a while, and it has gotten discouraging. You wonder, "Am I ever going to find somebody?" I'm sorry if that is where you are. Many people believe that getting married will make their life complete. It won't. Even a great husband or wife cannot take away all your sadness and all the emptiness in your heart. Only Jesus can complete you.
The good news is that God's love keeps following you. King David wrote, "Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" (Psalm 23:6, NIV). Notice the word "follow." You don't have to chase God's love down. It follows you at work, at home, and on your walk to get a cup of coffee.
You don't have to struggle in silence.
Your struggles should not make you run away from God and away from people. They should make you run to God and to people.
God didn't just come near to Elijah. He also reminded him that he was not the only one. The Bible says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NIV).
When you are hurting, you need people who can pray with you and encourage you. And when one person is honest about what they are going through, it often gives someone else the courage to say, "Me too." There is freedom in knowing you are not alone.
So take one step toward people this week. Find a church near you and join a small group, so that when you are struggling, you have people to share it with. If you have wondered whether you really need a church, read do you have to go to church to be a Christian?
If you would like someone to talk with you or pray with you, send us a message. Our pastoral team reads every one. And if your loneliness has turned into despair, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time, day or night.
Turn down the noise so you can hear God's whisper.
God still speaks in a gentle whisper, mainly through His word and His Spirit. But a whisper is easy to miss when the noise is turned all the way up.
Most of us have noise going all the time: our phones, social media, and TV. Even when we are alone, something is usually playing. God has been speaking. It has just been drowned out.
Today, you can turn down the noise and let God remind you that you are not alone.
Daily Practice: Tonight, put your phone on do not disturb for ten minutes. Open your Bible or a Bible app to John 15:9-13 and read it slowly. Then tell God honestly how alone you have felt. Before you finish, thank Him that He has been with you the whole time.