Around Thanksgiving, someone at the table usually asks, "So, what are you thankful for this year?"
But what if this has been the hardest year of your life? Maybe you got a bad report from the doctor. Maybe you lost your job, and the money is running out. Maybe your own family has turned its back on you. When your life feels like it is falling apart, being thankful can feel impossible, or even fake.
If that is you, let me say this up front: God is not asking you to pretend everything is fine. He is not asking you to thank Him for the very thing that is breaking your heart.
I preached a message on God's plan for your life from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, including what it means to give thanks in all circumstances.
Give thanks in all circumstances, not for all circumstances.
Here is what Paul wrote to the Christians in Thessalonica:
"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV)
If you have ever wondered what God's will for your life is, there it is. Now, I want you to notice one small word in that verse: "in." Paul does not say to give thanks for all circumstances. He says to give thanks in all circumstances.
That little word makes a big difference. God does not ask you to pray, "Lord, thank You for giving me cancer." He does not ask you to say, "Thank You for letting me lose my job." But He does invite you to thank Him while you are in it.
How is that possible? Life is not always good, but God is always good. Your circumstances can change overnight, but His goodness never changes. That means even on the worst day of your life, you still have a reason to be thankful.
If you're wrestling with why God would allow your pain at all, read why God allows suffering if He is good and loving.
Thankfulness is thoughtfulness about the goodness of God.
When Jamie and I got married, her family's traditions became my traditions too. Every year at Thanksgiving with my in-laws, we do something Jamie has done with her family since she was a little girl. Everyone writes a list of what they are most thankful for from the past year, and we read our lists to one another. Then we put them in a box that holds the lists from all the years before. Afterward, each person takes out a few old lists and reads them out loud too.
We always get a good laugh, especially when we read what some of the family wrote when they were twelve years old or younger. But reading those lists can also be emotional. We are reminded of the good gifts God has given us, but even more, we are reminded of the goodness of God. There are often tears, but they are not tears of grief. They are tears of joy.
Maybe this year your tears are not tears of joy. Maybe your list feels painfully short. If so, you need to know what thankfulness really is.
Thankfulness is not a "glass half full" mentality. It is much deeper than that. Thankfulness is thoughtfulness about the goodness of God. Meaning, you choose to think about who God is and what He has done, even when your life is not okay.
There is nothing wrong with thanking God for your home, your job, or your family. God wants you to be thankful for those gifts. But too often we are only thankful for temporary gifts, and temporary gifts can be taken away. The good news is that the eternal gifts God gives you in Jesus can never be taken away!
What Jesus did for you on the cross never changes.
The main reason to be thankful is not what is happening to you. It is what God has done for you. And what has He done? He did what you could never do for yourself. Because of our sin, you and I deserved to be separated from God. But Jesus died the death we deserved, and He rose again.
No matter what happens in your life, what Christ has done for you on the cross never changes. That is why there is always a reason to be thankful.
You might have lost all your money, but you can still be thankful for the riches of God's grace. Your parents might have disowned you, but you have a heavenly Father who will never leave you nor forsake you. You might have a bad health report, but if you have placed your faith in Jesus, you have a future in heaven where your health will never be an issue. You might feel unloved by someone in your life, but God's love will never leave you.
Look at the last words of 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Giving thanks in all circumstances is God's will for you "in Christ Jesus." To be in Christ is to be in a relationship with Him, and you cannot live out God's plan without God's power. If you have never placed your faith in Jesus, you can do that today. He loves you, and He wants to freely forgive you. If you are not sure how, start with how to become a Christian.
His love endures forever, even on your hardest day.
Being thankful doesn't mean you stop being honest with God. Many of the psalms are honest prayers from people in pain. One psalm cries out, "Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress," and "My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning" (Psalm 31:9-10, NIV). Prayers like that are a way of asking God where He is and why this is happening.
You can pray that way too. God already knows everything you are going through. When you tell Him about it, it is not for His information. It is for your transformation.
But God does not want your prayers to stop there. You are not just supposed to pray honestly, but also thankfully. The same book of prayers says:
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever." (Psalm 136:1, NIV)
Psalm 136 repeats that last line in every one of its verses. Your feelings for God might come and go, but His love for you is not based on your feelings or your performance. It endures forever.
In the middle of a hard diagnosis, you can still pray with thankfulness. In the middle of a financial crisis, you can still pray with thankfulness. Why? His love endures forever.
Thankfulness leads to peacefulness.
Paul was in chains for Christ (Philippians 1:13) when he told the church in Philippi, "Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT). Notice, this is a promise. IF you thank God for what He has done THEN you will experience God's peace.
When your thoughts shift from "I wish this had never happened" to "God, thank You for what You have done," God gives you a peace that is bigger than your problem. What is within you becomes stronger than what is around you.
The next time someone asks what you are thankful for, you don't have to fake an answer. You can be honest about how hard this year has been and still thank God for what He has done.
Today, you can turn your thoughts toward the goodness of God, even if you cannot thank Him for what you are going through.
Daily Practice: Start your own thankful list today, one line at a time. Each morning, read Psalm 136:1 out loud. Then write down one thing God has done for you that no hard day can take away. When Thanksgiving comes, read your list out loud, to God or to someone you trust.
If this season has been heavy and you would like someone to pray with you, tell us how we can pray. And if this season has become more than you can bear, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time.