Why Do I Feel So Far From God and Lost in Life?

Do you feel far from God? Maybe there was a time when you prayed and knew He was near. Now your prayers feel empty, and you wonder if He is even listening.

Or maybe you feel lost in life. You are not sure where you are going, and you are not sure God is going with you.

If that is you, hear this first: all of us go through times when we feel far from God. You are not the only one, and you are not too far gone for God to reach you.

It is okay to feel far from God sometimes.

You might be shocked to hear a pastor say that, but it is true. It is okay to feel far from God sometimes. Why? Because God is not a feeling, but a personal being.

Think about it like this. There are times when I feel close to my wife, Jamie, and there are times when I don't feel as close to her. Regardless of how I feel, we are still married. Our feelings don't change the status of our relationship. They only change the experience of it.

The same is true with God. You won't feel as close to Him every day as you did the day you first believed, and that doesn't mean He has left. God's love for you will never change. However, your awareness of His love can change. Too often we get so distracted by the pleasures, pursuits, and people in our lives that we forget how much He loves us.

David knew what it was like to feel far from God. He prayed:

"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV)

David asks "How long?" four times, which shows he had likely been feeling far from God for quite a while. There will be not only days, but sometimes entire seasons in your walk with Jesus when you feel far from Him too. So do not be shocked when you go through a season like that.

Tell God the truth about how far away He feels.

On the surface, it may seem like David was not in a good place spiritually. That could not be further from the truth. Being honest with God about your struggles is one of the marks of a thriving spiritual life. David was not trying to fake it to make it. Rather, he told God exactly how he felt.

You can do the same, because God would rather have the honest you than the polished you. Tell Him it feels like He is hiding, and tell Him how long it has been. When you do, you let Him into your struggle instead of trying to tough it out on your own. Being candid with God creates closeness to Him, so be honest with Him when you feel far from Him.

The fog does not mean God has left.

After David is honest, he asks God for help: "Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes" (Psalm 13:3, NIV). He wanted to see and experience God like he had in the past.

Back when our church was East Hills Church in the Oakland Hills, our property had one of the most beautiful views I have ever seen. From the viewpoint, you could see the Bay, Oakland, the San Francisco skyline, the Bay Bridge, and the Golden Gate Bridge. On clear days, I could see both bridges easily, but on foggy days it was hard or impossible to see them.

Of course, the fog never made those bridges disappear. My sight did not determine whether they existed. In the same way, when the fog of your feelings clouds your spiritual eyes, God has not gone anywhere.

One night, Jesus' disciples were rowing across a lake in the dark. They could not see Jesus, but Mark tells us, "He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them" (Mark 6:48, NIV). They were not aware of Him, but He was aware of them, and He walked toward them. If you are wondering where God is right now, He is right next to you.

So ask God to clear the fog. He can show up and do anything at any time, and He may just answer that prayer. But there are also times when He intentionally leaves the fog in place, because He wants to test and grow your faith.

At the end of his prayer, David makes a choice: "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me" (Psalm 13:5-6, NIV).

If you cannot feel God today, trust God today for the goodness and love He has already poured out in your life. Jesus already showed you His unfailing love on the cross. He loved you so much that He was willing to die for you. That is real love! The same God who loves you that much is in control of the whole universe, and He is worth trusting, no matter how you feel. "For we live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7, NIV).

If you feel lost in life, trust God with your next step.

Maybe you feel lost because your life has not gone the way you expected, and you don't know which way to go. I would say this first: your plan is often not God's plan. That is why the Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV).

In order to trust God, you have to stop trusting yourself. So instead of praying, "God, make my plan happen," start praying the way Jesus taught us to pray, for God's will to be done in your life, whatever that looks like and wherever it leads.

God doesn't hand us the full ten-year plan. Instead, His word works like a lamp: "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path" (Psalm 119:105, NIV). A lamp lights up the next few steps, not the whole road, and God is asking you to trust Him with today. If you are trying to figure out your next step, start with how to get guidance from God.

Take one small step toward God today.

Today, you can choose to trust in God's unfailing love for you, no matter how thick the fog in front of you is. When you do, your faith will be strengthened, even when God feels far.

Daily Practice: Read Psalm 13 one verse at a time. After each verse, pause and pray. Let each verse guide you as you talk honestly with God about where you are right now.

You don't have to find your way back alone. If you are hurting, please share a prayer request so we can pray for you.

What Is God’s Will for My Life? A Study of Ephesians 1

Many of us get stuck on the same question: What is God's will for my life? We wonder who to marry, where to move, which job to take, whether to say yes or no. We treat God's will like a sealed, private document we are not allowed to read. But what if God's general will for your life is not hidden at all? What if it is clear, written down, and available to anyone willing to open the pages of Scripture?

In this message from our Grace for You series through Ephesians, we looked at Ephesians 1:8–14 and discovered four steps for walking in God's will. This is not about predicting your specific future — it is about the general will of God that is true for every believer, everywhere. And the reason it matters is simple: deep down, all of us want to be happy, fulfilled, and at peace. That kind of life is only found when we stop chasing our own will and start walking in His.

1. Walk in Unity

Paul writes that God made known to us the mystery of His will, which He purposed in Christ — "to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment, to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ" (Ephesians 1:9–10). Part of walking in God's will is walking in unity with others.

But unity is not the same as uniformity. We often break relationships because we demand that people look, think, and act exactly like us before we will be close to them. That is a recipe for more division, not less. True unity comes not from looking the same on the surface but from sharing the same foundation: Jesus Christ. Two houses can have different doors and windows and still rest on the same foundation.

Jesus prayed for this the night before He was crucified:

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one — I in them and you in me — so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:22–23)

When Christians genuinely love one another across their differences, the watching world takes notice. It may be the most powerful evidence that our faith is real.

2. Walk for His Glory

Paul continues: "In him we were also chosen... in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory" (Ephesians 1:11–12). We were created to display God's greatness, not our own.

Some hear that and bristle — isn't it egotistical for God to want glory? But God is the ultimate embodiment of goodness and greatness. When we live to display Him, it is actually for our greatest good and the good of the world. The difference is whether you want the spotlight on you, or you want to get behind the spotlight and shine it on Him. Even a pastor can preach for his own applause. The point of life is not to get people to see how good you are — it is to help them see how good God is.

3. Walk by the Spirit

"When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit" (Ephesians 1:13). Notice: the Spirit was promised long ago. Six hundred years before Ephesians, Ezekiel wrote:

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees." (Ezekiel 36:26–27)

When you trust Christ, He gives you a new nature — a heart of flesh in place of a heart of stone. This does not make you instantly perfect. If you find yourself struggling against sin, take heart: that struggle is a sign of new life, because a slave to sin does not fight it. The Spirit also assures us of who we are: "The Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father'" (Romans 8:15). And practically, walking by the Spirit means letting Him govern your mind. "The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace" (Romans 8:6). You do not have to believe every thought or follow every feeling. As Martin Luther is often quoted, you cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest there.

4. Walk with Confidence

The Holy Spirit "is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession — to the praise of his glory" (Ephesians 1:14). Your future with God is not a maybe; it is a guarantee. The Spirit within you is a down payment — a foretaste of heaven now, and a promise of the full inheritance to come.

Because God keeps His promises, you can walk confidently rather than fearfully. As Paul wrote, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). God does not abandon unfinished work.

A Takeaway to Reflect On

The greatest barrier to walking in God's will is our stubborn preference for our own will. The Titanic was warned about the icebergs; the crew simply chose their own way. Choosing our will over God's always leads somewhere we did not intend. But God, in mercy, sent Jesus — the only one who walked perfectly in the Father's will — and "by his wounds we are healed" (see Isaiah 53:5). Through Him we can be forgiven and put back on the path we were made to walk.

So ask yourself honestly: Am I walking in the will of God? And if not fully, what would it look like to give my life more completely over to Him today?

If these questions are stirring something in you, we would love to walk alongside you. If you live in Livermore or anywhere across the Tri-Valley, come join us on a Sunday — there is a place for you here at Arroyo Church.

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Can God Forgive Me After Everything I’ve Done?

When we were kids, we would drive past a group of pigs on our way home, and we always loved to look at them. Those pigs were always covered in filth. Why? Because they are pigs, and that is what pigs do.

There are times in our lives when we feel completely covered in filth. We feel covered by our sin, our struggles, and our shame. Maybe that describes you right now.

Maybe you fell back into a habit you thought was behind you. Maybe you did the one sin you thought you would never do. Nobody else may know about it, and you might even be telling yourself, "I shouldn't tell anyone about this. God could never forgive me."

I want you to hear this before anything else. You are a sinner, but God is a better forgiver. I preached a whole message on this from Exodus 34, where God shows Moses what He is like.

Your sin is not bigger than the grace of God

You might say, "You do not know how bad my sin is, or how many times I have done it!" You are right, I do not know, but I do know this. There is no sin that is more powerful than the grace of God.

Paul puts it this way: "where sin increased, grace increased all the more" (Romans 5:20, NIV). Notice that he does not say grace increased just enough for you to barely be forgiven. It grew even more than the sin did.

Think about it like this. Say you get pulled over for going 100 miles an hour in a 30 zone. The officer tells you he still has to write the ticket, but he is going to pay it for you. Then he hands you enough money to buy the nicest car you could ever want. That is grace: God does not just cover the cost of your sin, but He gives you far more than you need.

The Bible also says that "love covers over a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8, NIV). The love of Christ shown on the cross does not cover only a few of your sins, but a multitude of them. How often you have sinned does not scare God away from you. Rather, He runs toward you with a love that can cover all of it.

God is a better forgiver than you are a sinner

In Exodus 34, God met Moses on a mountain to give him the Ten Commandments on tablets of stone. God knew His people would break those commands, so He told Moses up front who He is: "the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6, NIV). He is the God who forgives "wickedness, rebellion and sin" (Exodus 34:7, NIV).

Notice those three words, because the Bible uses different words to describe different sides of our sin. Sin is missing the mark, like an arrow that misses the target. Wickedness is the problem inside our own hearts. Rebellion is when you see the line, you know you should not cross it, and you cross it anyway. We have all sinned in all three ways, and God forgives all three.

You might wonder how a just God can simply forgive. He does not ignore sin, because sin has to be paid for, and that is what the cross is all about. Your sin is like a debt of $50 million that you could never pay off. Jesus paid that debt in full with His own blood, so you do not have to.

You may have been walking on eggshells with God, waiting for Him to give up on you. However, He is slow to anger, and He loves you just as much on your bad days as He does on your good days.

God does not despise a broken heart

King David fell hard when he committed adultery and then had the woman's husband killed. Afterward, David wrote a prayer we now know as Psalm 51, and in it he says, "a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise" (Psalm 51:17, NIV).

You see, being brokenhearted over your sin is not a bad place to be. God does not despise your brokenness. He takes your brokenness and forgives you, so your life can be made into something beautiful again. That means the best thing you can do after you sin is bring your broken heart to God!

But not all guilt is the same. Overwhelming guilt is the voice that says, "Nobody else has ever messed up like this before," or "My future is ruined." It hits your soul like a hammer and nails you into a frame of shame. That is an ungodly kind of guilt, because it keeps you away from Christ.

Godly guilt is different. It is like the jolt of pain you feel when you touch boiling water. It helps you see your sin, but it also helps you see your Savior, whose love for you is bigger than your sin. "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death" (2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV).

So do not act like the mess is not there. Hiding your sin only causes more hurt, and healing is not possible without revealing. God did not reject David when he came to Him with a broken heart, and He will not reject you if you come to Him openly and honestly. Here is His promise:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, NIV)

In Christ, there is no condemnation left for you

Carrying your sin can feel like wearing a heavy backpack, with every failure loaded into it, and you carry it everywhere you go. You try to take it off, but it keeps ending up back on your shoulders. You cannot take that weight off by yourself. Only Jesus can.

Think about the heaviest guilt you have ever felt after the worst sin you have ever committed. On the cross, Jesus carried the weight of that sin, along with the sins of the whole world.

Here is the good news: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1, NIV). No means none, not even a speck. Jesus was condemned on the cross in your place, so if you have placed your faith in Him, there is none left for you.

That promise does not go up and down with how well you are doing. On your best days, no condemnation. On your worst days, no condemnation. When God looks at you, He does not see your sin, but He sees you as if you have lived the perfect life of Christ. You are no longer defined by your sin, but by your Savior!

You can bring it to Jesus today

The question is not, "Can God forgive me?" The question is, "Will I receive His forgiveness?" God will not force it on you, because forgiveness is a gift, and a gift is not something you earn but something you simply receive.

You do not need a big faith to receive it either. You are not saved by the size of your faith but by the size of God's grace. Take whatever small faith you have right now and place it in Jesus. He does not love you because you are lovable, but because He is loving. That is why grace is God's greatest gift: it depends on Him, not on you.

What have you been carrying? Today, you can stop hiding it and bring it into the light. If you are ready, you could pray something like this:

Jesus, I come to You, and I know that I am a sinner. But I thank You that You are an even better forgiver. I bring You what I have done, and I place my faith in You. Thank You that Your grace is greater than my sin. Amen.

Once your sins are completely covered by the love of God, you can begin to cover others with that same love. God's love will even help you start forgiving others when you don't feel like it.

Daily Practice: Find a quiet place and pray a prayer of confession. Tell God about the sin you are broken over, and then thank Him that His love covers it.

Grace That Keeps Giving: Peace, Identity, Forgiveness

Have you ever received a gift and only later realized how much more it held than you first thought? Pastor Josh opened this message with a picture like that: being handed a book, setting it aside, and then discovering an envelope tucked inside with a check far more valuable than the book itself. You can receive a gift and still not understand or experience its full benefits. That, he said, is exactly how many of us live with the grace of God.

This message kicks off a new series called Grace for You, a verse-by-verse walk through the book of Ephesians. Written by the apostle Paul from prison to a church he had personally planted and loved, Ephesians is often called Paul's masterpiece — three chapters on who God is and what He has done, followed by three chapters on how we should live in light of it. We began at the very start, Ephesians 1:1-8, where Paul bursts into what reads like a single, breathless poem of praise about grace.

Grace gives you peace

Notice how Paul greets nearly every church: "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 1:2). The order matters. Grace always comes before peace, because you cannot have peace with God until you first receive His grace by faith in Jesus.

So what is grace? It is God's unearned love. So much of life teaches us to earn affection — to be attractive enough, successful enough, useful enough to be loved. God is different. As Romans reminds us, "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He does not love you because of who you are; He loves you because of who He is. God is love. He loves you because He loves you.

And this grace, though offered to everyone, does not come from everyone. It does not come from any human founder or philosophy. Every other system says, "Do, so that God will accept you." The gospel says, "It is done — now receive it." When you do, you gain peace with God: the barrier of sin is removed, and the relationship is restored. You also gain an inner peace the Bible calls a peace that surpasses understanding — the kind that steadies you in the middle of the storm, even when nothing around you says you should be at rest.

Grace gives you a new identity

Paul keeps going: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 1:4-5). Through Christ you receive "every spiritual blessing" (1:3) — not necessarily material comfort, but everything your soul actually needs.

Two blessings stand out. First, in Christ you are seen as holy and blameless. None of us can claim that on our own. But Jesus lived the perfect life we never could and took our blame to the cross, so that God now looks at us through the flawless life of His Son. Second, you are adopted into God's family. We were spiritual orphans, but grace brings us home as beloved children with real access to the Father.

This changes how we define ourselves. So many of us build our identity on money, success, sexuality, or worst of all, on our own worst failures. Pastor Josh pointed to the difference between saying "I am an alcoholic" and "I am a child of God who struggles with drinking." One chains you to your struggle; the other equips you to walk in freedom. When you know who you are in Christ, it transforms how you live — not the other way around.

At Jesus' baptism the Father declared over Him, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased" — before a single miracle. Through Christ, the Father says something similar over every one of His children.

Grace gives you forgiveness

Finally: "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us" (Ephesians 1:7-8). Redemption is the language of a debt cancelled. Our sin left us with a debt we could never repay by good behavior, church attendance, or being nice. It was paid in full — not with money, but with the blood of Jesus.

Two things keep believers from experiencing this freedom. The first is constant guilt. There is a godly kind of guilt that leads us to God and then lets us move on; it should not become a rain cloud we carry everywhere. The second is putting limits on His grace, whispering "He can forgive others, but not what I've done." Yet the passage says He forgives according to the riches of His grace, not according to how bad our sin is. You cannot outrun a God who is rich in grace. The only sin that cannot be forgiven is the sin of unbelief — refusing the gift entirely.

A gift that keeps on giving

Grace is not a one-time transaction. Lamentations reminds us His mercies are new every morning. Picture two waterfalls: Yosemite Falls can run dry by late summer, but Niagara never stops pouring. God's grace is like Niagara. You are not asked to work your way up the falls — only to sit beneath them each day and let them fill you, then overflow to bless others, just as Paul blessed the Ephesians with peace while he sat in a prison cell.

A question to sit with this week

When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself the way God sees you — holy, blameless, adopted, and fully forgiven? Where have you been living under guilt or self-made limits that grace already erased?

If you are near Livermore or anywhere in the Tri-Valley, we would love for you to join us in person and keep exploring this series with our church family.

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I Am the True Vine: What Jesus Meant in John 15

Here is an honest confession: it is possible to kill a succulent. Pastor Cristian Ayquipa admits he and his wife did exactly that — they bought the one plant famous for surviving neglect, set it by the window, barely watered it, and forgot about it. Months later it was dead. So they did the mature thing and bought a fake one. That plastic succulent is still going strong. It never wilts, never browns, never needs sunlight. But it has also never grown an inch, never produced a flower, never made a seed. Nothing has ever come out of it because nothing has ever gone through it.

That fake plant is a picture of a real danger in the life of faith. From a distance it looks alive. Up close, nothing is changing, nothing is growing, and no fruit is being produced. In John 15, Jesus explains why — and what to do about it. The main idea is simple but life-changing: you are not the source of your spiritual life. Jesus is. Your job is to stay connected.

The setting: Jesus' final hours

These are not casual words. Jesus speaks them in the upper room, hours before His arrest and crucifixion. When you know your time is short, you do not waste words. So He gives His disciples something He wants burned into their hearts.

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener." (John 15:1)

Notice the word true — genuine, the real thing as opposed to a counterfeit. In the Old Testament, Israel was pictured as God's vineyard, planted and cared for, yet again and again it failed to produce fruit. Jesus steps in and says, in effect, I am the real vine, the true source of life. Every other source you try to plug into is a copy. The Father is the gardener, the owner who tends the vineyard. And we are the branches. A branch does not manufacture grapes; it simply delivers what flows through the vine.

Which means many of us are exhausted because we have taken a job that was never ours. We are trying to be the source. As Paul writes, real effort is good — "I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me" (Colossians 1:29). Striving is not the problem. Striving in your own strength, apart from Jesus, is.

1. Pruning is part of staying connected

"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (John 15:2)

There are two actions here. God cuts off branches that refuse to abide — a warning to anyone drifting away who no longer misses Him. If that is you, His voice is still calling; it is time to turn back. But God also prunes the branches that are already bearing fruit, so they will bear even more.

Here is the surprising part: pruning does not only remove sinful things. In ancient vineyards, gardeners deliberately cut away healthy clusters of grapes, because too many clusters divided the vine's energy and produced small, sour fruit. Sometimes God cuts good things out of your life — a comfortable job, a good relationship — not because they are bad, but because He refuses to let you settle for sour grapes. Pruning is always painful, but it is always purposeful. If you feel like you are in a season where everything looks bare, remember a Livermore vineyard in January: it looks dead, but the farmer knows what is coming. "You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you" (John 15:3) — God's Word is one of His primary pruning tools.

2. Remaining means making Jesus your home

In John 15:4-10, Jesus uses the word remain (or abide) ten times. To abide means to make something your home. You do not just visit home to grab something from the fridge and leave; home is where you live, relax, and are shaped over time.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

Read your own life into that last line. Apart from Him, you cannot sustain a healthy marriage, break that habit, or forgive that person. Jesus does not say you can do less — He says nothing that is fruitful and lasting. You can be successful and still be empty; busy and still disconnected. So how do we practically stay connected? Jesus gives three pictures:

• His Word — "If you remain in me and my words remain in you" (John 15:7). Give Scripture a real place in your calendar, and let it shape your thinking, not just inform it.

• Prayer — keep a running conversation with God all day, before the hard meeting, the hard text, the hard conversation.

• Obedience — "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love" (John 15:10). This is not how you earn His love; it is how you stay close to the One who already loves you.

3. You are connected as a friend, not an employee

"I no longer call you servants... Instead, I have called you friends." (John 15:15)

Friendship with a king meant access, relationship, a place in His inner circle. Remarkably, Peter was in that room — and within a day he would deny Jesus three times. Jesus knew, and still called him friend. His friendship is not offered on your best day or revoked on your worst. "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit — fruit that will last" (John 15:16). Some of us know what it feels like to be picked last. God chooses you not by performance or appearance but by grace. "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). The true vine allowed Himself to be cut off so that we could be grafted in.

And the fruit He grows is unmistakable: "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). Jesus wraps up His charge with one command: "Love each other" (John 15:17). That is the test. How are you treating the people who are difficult, who annoy you, who have hurt you? On your own, you cannot love like that — which is exactly the point. Stay connected, and His love begins to flow through you.

A takeaway to sit with

The wrong question is, "Am I doing enough for God?" The right question is, "Am I connected to the vine?" Where are you trying to force growth in your own strength today — in your marriage, your parenting, your habits, your faith? What would it look like this week to simply remain?

If you are in the Tri-Valley and want a church family that will help you stay connected to Jesus and grow real, lasting fruit, we would love to meet you at Arroyo Church in Livermore. Come as you are.

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What the Bible Really Says About Money | Proverbs 22:7

Here is a question worth sitting with for a moment: if someone offered you three million dollars with no wisdom, or a lifetime of wisdom with no money, which would you choose? Most of us would grab the cash. But the book of Proverbs quietly insists we would be choosing wrong.

In this message closing out our Guidance for Today series through Proverbs, we tackled a topic many of us would rather avoid in church: money. It is a subject often twisted and manipulated, so we approached it carefully — not from our perspective, but from God's. And here is the surprising thing: talking honestly about money turns out to be less a financial conversation and more a deeply spiritual one.

Money Is Not What Matters Most

Proverbs opens by ranking wisdom above wealth:

"Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her." — Proverbs 8:10–11

Why is wisdom worth more than gold? Because in the New Testament, wisdom is not merely a skill you develop — it is a Person. Paul writes that in Christ "are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" (Colossians 2:3). So when Scripture says money isn't what matters most, it is ultimately pointing us to Jesus. Consider three reasons He is better than any bank account:

• Money can be lost; your salvation cannot. Economies crash and jobs disappear, but Paul reminds us that nothing "in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39).

• Money cannot buy happiness; Jesus gives lasting joy. If wealth guaranteed happiness, the richest people would be the happiest — and they plainly are not. The joy of the Lord is our strength, and it is received, not earned.

• Money changes in value; Jesus never changes. Prices rise and dollars shrink, but "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8).

Jesus put His finger on the real issue: "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:21). Whatever you treasure most is what you are actually trusting as your lord. So the honest question isn't "How much money do I have?" but "What matters most to me?"

Learn to Manage Your Money Wisely

Saying money isn't ultimate doesn't mean it doesn't matter. Proverbs devotes over a hundred verses to handling money well. Here are three practical habits it commends.

Spend and save wisely

"Whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich. The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down." — Proverbs 21:17, 20

We live in a culture of constant consumption, and technology makes overspending effortless. Two simple questions can bring restraint: Do I actually need this? and Does this fit my budget? Saving, done rightly, is not selfish — it is faithful stewardship. Building an emergency fund and living within your means honors the God who provided the income in the first place.

Understand the danger of debt

"The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender." — Proverbs 22:7

Not all debt is reckless — a mortgage or responsibly used credit can be wise. But Scripture warns that debt can quietly become bondage, straining our finances, our peace, and even our relationships. If credit has become a trap for you, there is freedom in pressing pause and rebuilding healthy habits.

Give to God first

"Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine." — Proverbs 3:9–10

Giving to God is not tipping the church for a good service — it is worship. We offer Him our first and our best, not our leftovers. And to be clear: this verse is not a magic formula that guarantees riches in exchange for offerings. That is the distortion of false teachers. Proverbs describes what normally happens, not an ironclad promise. Interestingly, the most generous people are often the most financially healthy — because when you don't worship wealth, you manage it responsibly instead of desperately.

God Wants You to Work Hard

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." — Proverbs 14:23

Work is not a curse invented by the enemy; it is part of God's original design, given in the garden before sin ever entered the world. Scripture calls us to avoid two extremes — the workaholic who sacrifices family, health, and faith for more money, and the person who drifts into laziness. Instead, we are invited to worship God with our work, and even to let our work become a witness. When you labor with excellence and integrity, people notice, and the door opens to point them to Christ.

The One Thing You Cannot Earn

Here is the beautiful contrast at the heart of it all: you work hard to earn money, but you cannot work to earn your salvation.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." — Romans 3:23–24

Every other religion says you must achieve God's favor. The gospel says you simply receive it. Jesus built the bridge we could never build — living the life we couldn't live, dying in our place, and rising again — so that we could cross to the Father freely, by faith. Christianity is not about you working your way to God; it is about God working His way to you.

A Takeaway to Carry Into the Week

Be honest before the Lord: What matters most to you — Jesus, or money? If your heart has been treasuring the wrong thing, you can turn back today. True financial freedom isn't found in having more; it is found in following the ways of God, whose ways are always better.

If you are anywhere in the Livermore area or across the Tri-Valley and looking for a church family to grow with, we would love to welcome you this Sunday at Arroyo Church.

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How to Lead Your Family Spiritually | Proverbs 22:6

Two pastors. Both loved the Bible. Both spent over forty years in ministry, both earned doctorates, both knew Scripture inside and out. But at the end of their lives, one is still married to the wife of his youth and enjoys close relationships with his kids and grandkids, while the other is on his second marriage and estranged from all three of his children. What made the difference? Both men knew the Bible. Only one actually practiced it at home.

That contrast opens this week's message in our Guidance for Today series. The main idea is simple but weighty: the state of your family forms your future. If the world shapes your family, it shapes a future you likely don't want. But if the Word of God shapes your family, you walk in the will of God, and that brings life.

God's guidance for marriage

1. Keep pursuing one another

Proverbs doesn't shy away from intimacy in marriage. It actually celebrates it as a good gift from God — not something to worship, and not something to be ashamed of, but a gift meant to bond a husband and wife together for life. Consider the language:

"May you rejoice in the wife of your youth... may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?" (Proverbs 5:18–20)

Notice it says the wife of your youth, not the youthful wife. The goal is a love that deepens over decades. Here's the honest truth: intoxication with your spouse begins naturally but continues intentionally. If you don't intentionally pursue one another, you will naturally drift apart. Paul puts the mutual responsibility plainly:

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband... the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband, and likewise the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:3–4)

Pursuing your spouse also guards the marriage. The more satisfied you are at home, the less pull you feel to look elsewhere. (And to be clear: if someone has cheated on you, that sin belongs to the person who committed it, not to you.)

2. Change your communication

Change your communication and you can change your relationship. For husbands, that means trading criticism for genuine praise:

"Her husband... praises her: 'Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'" (Proverbs 31:28–29)

You can push your wife down with constant criticism or pull her up with encouragement. Ask yourself: what's my praise-to-criticism ratio? For wives, Proverbs offers an equally direct word about letting go of control:

"Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife." (Proverbs 21:19)

The root of nagging is usually a desire to control. Speak up in love when it matters, then release the rest to God — He is far better at changing people than we are.

God's guidance for parenting

3. Lead your kids to Christ

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

What is "the way"? Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life" (John 14:6). Your primary job as a parent is not behavior modification — it's pointing your children toward spiritual transformation in Christ. You can raise a polite, successful child who is spiritually bankrupt. Training is a daily discipline, and three habits help:

• Pray daily — short, honest prayers of blessing and thanks over your children.

• Attend church weekly — make gathering with God's people a settled priority.

• Set an example — your kids learn more from who you are than what you say, especially when you model the gospel by asking forgiveness.

Remember, Proverbs are wise sayings, not ironclad promises. Children have their own will in a broken world. But when you lay a foundation, you give them something to return to.

4. Discipline your children

"Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them." (Proverbs 13:24)

Loving discipline drives foolishness out of a child's heart. A few guardrails: discipline must actually be done; do it out of love, not anger; stay united with your spouse; follow through decisively; and never crush the child in the process.

"Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." (Colossians 3:21)

The one perfect Father

Here's the honest ending: none of us is the perfect spouse or parent. If your hope rests on being perfect — or your family being perfect — it will fail you. There is only one perfect Father, and He is God. In the story of the running father (Luke 15), a son squanders everything, then heads home in shame. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him" (Luke 15:20). That is the heart of God toward you. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). You can only give the love you have first received.

A takeaway to sit with

Which relationship in your family is God asking you to lead differently this week — and have you first received the love of the Father that makes it possible?

If you're anywhere in Livermore or the Tri-Valley and looking for a church family to grow with, we'd love to meet you and pray with you.

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