C.S. Lewis wrote a story about a land called Narnia, where a witch's curse made it "always winter and never Christmas."
When you are missing a loved one, the holidays can feel a lot like that. The calendar says Christmas, but inside, it still feels like winter. This may be your first Christmas without them. Or maybe the loss was years ago, and this time of year still brings the hurt right back.
So how do you get through Christmas after losing someone you love? I can't make the hurt go away. But I can show you a Christmas promise that God first gave to people who were living through a very dark season.
One Christmas Eve, I preached on that promise from Isaiah 9 in a message called "How to Have Hope During Dark Times." Here it is, picking up at the part about going through a winter season in your own life.
This dark season will not go on forever.
Centuries before Jesus was born, God spoke through a prophet named Isaiah and promised that Jesus would come. But look at where that promise shows up. In the chapter right before it, God warned His people that a very dark time was coming. A powerful enemy army would invade, and they would suffer.
Then, right after that warning, God gave them this promise:
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever." (Isaiah 9:1, NLT)
God did not tell His people that the darkness wasn't real. He told them it "will not go on forever." That same hope is for you. The darkness you feel this Christmas will not go on forever either.
Grief during the holidays can make you feel stuck in winter. You may believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the question you keep asking God is, "How long is this tunnel?"
I don't know exactly when your darkness will lift. But here is what I do know. Some of it may lift in this life. And if you belong to Jesus, all of it will be gone the day you see God face to face. It might not happen on your timeline, but the darkness will not last.
Here is how you can be sure. Jesus entered the darkness so that you could pass through it. He was born at night. Then He went to the cross and died for your sins. His body was laid in a dark tomb. But He did not stay there. On the third day, He rose from the dead. And when Jesus makes a promise, He always keeps it.
Look at the Light that has already come.
Isaiah keeps going:
"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned." (Isaiah 9:2, NIV)
When Isaiah wrote those words, the people were still waiting for that light. The good news is that you and I live on this side of the first Christmas. The Light has already dawned. Who is the Light? Jesus.
When you are grieving at Christmas, it can be hard to see anything but the darkness. Everything seems to remind you of who is missing. You don't have to pretend the darkness isn't there. But hope comes from looking at the Light.
Isaiah tells you who this Light would be:
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6, NIV)
These are not just names. They describe who Jesus is and how He helps you through dark times. He is the Wonderful Counselor, who wants to guide you when you feel lost. He is the Mighty God, who has all power and is with you. He is the Prince of Peace, who came to bring you peace with God.
And He is the Everlasting Father. Maybe the person you are missing this Christmas is your own dad. Whoever you lost, your heavenly Father will never fail you, and He will never pass away. He knew you before you were born, and He loves you the way a father loves his child. You will never have to spend a Christmas without Him.
The One born at Christmas knows what grief feels like.
Later in the same book, Isaiah wrote about Jesus again. He called Him "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:3, ESV).
To be acquainted with something is to know it well. Jesus did not learn about grief from a distance. He knows what it feels like.
I know the holiday season can be hard for some of us. But God does not abandon you in the midst of your suffering. He stays right beside you. Because He loves you, He is not just sad for you. He is sad with you.
If your loss is still fresh, you might also find help in what the Bible says about grief.
Focus on what lasts forever.
Isaiah's Christmas promise closes by looking ahead: "Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end" (Isaiah 9:7, NIV). Notice those last two words, "no end." Losing someone shows you that so much in this world does not last. But the peace Jesus brings will never end.
I'm glad this world will not stay the way it is now. There is a lot of good in it, but there is also a lot of brokenness and death. God has something better. His kingdom of perfect peace lasts forever.
If Christ is your Savior, you will get to spend eternity in a perfect place with a perfect person, and His name is Jesus. That is a good reason to have hope, even in the darkest December. If He is not your Savior yet, that hope can be yours the moment you place your faith in Him.
Looking ahead to heaven does not make your loss small. It will still hurt this Christmas. But you can be surrounded by darkness and still have a light within you.
Today, you can look at the Light, even while you walk through the dark.
Daily Practice: Read Isaiah 9:2-7. Then go to God in prayer with an honest spirit. Tell Him what this Christmas feels like without the person you love. As an act of faith, place that burden at His feet, and thank Him that He is your Everlasting Father.
If this Christmas feels too heavy, share what you are carrying with our church. We are here to pray for you. And you would be welcome to join our church family in Livermore on Christmas Eve.
If the darkness this Christmas ever makes you feel like giving up, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, any time.